1 Samuel 19-21

Relationships are affected by deceit.
Lincoln said, "How many legs has a cow?" "Four, of course," "Now suppose you call the cow's tail a leg; how many legs would the cow have?" "Why, five, of course," "Now, that's where you're wrong," said Lincoln. "Calling a cow's tail a leg doesn't make it a leg." 

To please his father a freshman went out for track. He had no athletic ability, though the father had been a good miler in his day. His first race was a two-man race in which he ran against the school miler. He was badly beaten. Not wanting to disappoint his father, the boy wrote home as follows: "You will be happy to know that I ran against Bill Williams, the best miler in school. He came in next to last, while I came in second." 

1988 Focus on the Family published a study 500 family counselors, top traits of successful families:

*Communicating and listening
*Affirming and supporting family members
*Respecting one another
*Sharing time and responsibility
*Respecting privacy.
*Developing a sense of trust
*Knowing right from wrong
*Having rituals and traditions
*Sharing a religious core

-Psalm 56:3-4 When I am afraid, I will trust in you.  In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?
May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer. PRAY

We will look at how relationships are affected by deception and lack of trust.

Relationships

·        ALL IN THE FAMILY

·        TRUE FRIENDS

·        RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD

Earlier in our study we learned of Jonathan’s superior ability in war, while Saul seemed content to live in peace under Philistine rule. Two incidences in previous chapters demonstrated Jonathan’s trust in God for his victories.

Samuel 19 SAUL’S DISFUNCTIONAL FAMILY

Saul tried to steal the glory the first time, the second he is lounging under a pomegranate tree. Thirty-three times Jonathan is referred to as the son of Saul. But we can see flaws in the father-son relationship. Surely Saul is a bit jealous of his son’s aggressive tactics and his military success.

Later in Ch.14 when God refused to answer Saul’s prayer for guidance to fight the Philistines, Saul cast lots to find who had sinned in the camp. ³⁹ “As surely as the LORD who rescues Israel lives, even if it lies with my son Jonathan, he must die.”  It seems Saul’s pride and jealousy will sacrifice his own son.

In Ch. 17 Jonathan was one of the men who were distressed and terrified of the giant but instead of being jealous, Jonathan welcomed him as did Saul. Jonathan became one in spirit with David and made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. Jonathan took his robe and gave it to David, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow and his belt. With this action Jonathan allowed David to replace him as commander of the army. Saul also recognized David’s successes in battles and gave a high rank in the army. It seems Saul and Jonathan both welcomed David into the family.

But Saul’s jealousy is soon kindled against David as the people of Israel and the Saul’s own officers honored David victories in battle.
 Saul and David relationship was affected by jealousy and lack of trust.

Chapter 19:1 Saul told his son Jonathan and all the attendants to kill David.

Jonathan must now choose between his best friend and his father.

Jonathan warned David, “My father wants to kill you. Be on guard tomorrow; stay hidden. I will go speak to him.”

4- Jonathan spoke well of David to Saul his father. David has not wronged you. He has benefited you greatly. ⁵ He took his life in his hands when he killed the Philistine. The LORD won a great victory for all Israel, and you saw it and were glad. Why then would you do wrong to an innocent man like David by killing him for no reason?”

 ⁶ Saul listened to Jonathan and took this oath: “As surely as the LORD lives, David will not be put to death.”

Jonathan relayed the conversation. David returned to Saul, playing the harp as before. (Some time has passed here, we don’t really know how long.)
 ⁸ Once more war broke out; David fought the Philistines; his fame increased.
19:10 An evil spirit of the LORD comes upon Saul who is sitting with a spear in his hand. (Now ladies, that would be my first concern.) David is playing the harp and Saul tries to pin him to the wall again. David escapes and runs to his house.  

Samuel 19:11-17 Saul, Michal and David

In Ch. 18 we see Saul used his daughters as pawns to reward then control David. David slew 200 Philistines to win the younger daughter, Michal. From the earlier description of David we know he was handsome to look at, strong and lean, plus he was Israel’s war hero. What princess wouldn’t swoon over David? vv. 20 and 28 affirm that Michal loved David. She too will have to make a choice between her father and her husband.

¹¹ Saul sent men to David’s house to watch it and to kill him in the morning. But Michal, David’s wife, warned him, “If you don’t run for your life tonight, tomorrow you’ll be killed.” ¹² So Michal let David down through a window, and he fled and escaped.

¹⁴Michal lies to her father’s men, “He is ill.” ¹⁵ Saul told the men, “Bring him up to me in his bed so that I may kill him.” ¹⁶ But when the men entered, there was the idol in the bed, and at the head was some goats’ hair.

 ¹⁷ Saul said to Michal, “Why did you deceive me like this and send my enemy away so that he escaped?”

  Michal lies again to protect herself from her unpredictable father, “He said to me, ‘Let me get away. Why should I kill you?’”

Saul and Michal relationship was affected by deception and lack of trust.

From the presence of the household idol in Michal’s room, we can judge that her devotion to the LORD God of Israel was divided at best.

Sounds like a romance novel, forsaking family for love. Even in today’s society daughters are forced to choose between husbands and family. It would be a long time before Michal will be united with David. Sadly Michal will not have a happy marriage; her father again will give her to another.  David and Michal relationship was affected by Saul’s deception and lack of trust.

Ladies today the family is in a crisis. We need to make it a matter of prayer to pray for our families and our children, that they will not forsake the LORD.

My heart goes out to a dear friend and precious mother whose family has indeed taken the way of the world. Though her daughter was brought up in a Christian home, mother and father both pillars of the church, faithfully teaching God’s word, and yet one branch of the family has grown twisted and perverted.

Jonathan and David used the New Moon Festival as way to judge Saul’s attitude toward David. 1 Samuel 20:4 Jonathan said to David, “Whatever you want me to do, I’ll do for you.”

Count how many times David is called son of Jesse. Saul refuses to honor him by name. ²⁷ The second day-… Saul said to his son Jonathan, “Why hasn’t the son of Jesse come to the meal, either yesterday or today?”

David has convinced Jonathan to lie to his father. ²⁸ Jonathan answered, “David’s family is observing a sacrifice in Bethlehem and his brother has ordered him to be there. He asked for my permission to go.”

³⁰ Saul’s anger flared up at Jonathan … “You son of a perverse and rebellious woman! Don’t I know that you have sided with the son of Jesse to your own shame and to the shame of the mother who bore you? ³¹ As long as the son of Jesse lives on this earth, neither you nor your kingdom will be established. Now send and bring him to me, for he must die!”

³² “Why should he be put to death? What has he done?” Jonathan asked his father. ³³ But Saul hurled his spear at him to kill him. Then Jonathan knew that his father intended to kill David.

Saul and Jonathan’s relationship was affected by deception and lack of trust.

The choice has been made. Now we see the final breach in the father- son relationship.

³⁴ Jonathan got up from the table in fierce anger; he did not eat, because he was grieved at his father’s shameful treatment of David.

As planned Jonathan shoots the arrow beyond the boy to warn David. ³⁸ Then he shouted (to the boy,) “Hurry! Go quickly! Don’t stop!”

The boy gathered the arrows and returned to town.

43 David bowed down before Jonathan three times, with his face to the ground. Then they kissed each other and wept together—but David wept the most.
 ⁴² Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the LORD, …

Jonathan knew that David would be the king, yet he showed no jealousy. But his did request favor for his descendants when David comes to rule.

 ‘The LORD is witness between you and me and between your descendants and my descendants forever.’” We will learn David fulfilled this promise to Jonathan’s crippled son in 2 Samuel 9.
David and Jonathan’s relationship was enriched by honesty and friendship.

Then David left, and Jonathan went back to the town. This will be their last conversation. What heartache to lose a dear friend because of a father’s hatred.

David will be an outcast, on the run, very much alone. David forgot to trust in God. His grief and despair caused him to rely on his own thinking. He misrepresented his mission to Ahimelech, the priest. He sinned when he took the showbread from the temple. Another lie obtained the sword of Goliath. Notice Doeg hiding on the right. David’s deception will affect the lives of others.

Nowhere to hide in his homeland, David went to Gath, the home of Goliath. How foolish to think a man of his fame could conceal himself among the enemy. David uses a ruse to save himself from the King of Gath. He acts as a wild man. Where is his trust in God?

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

RELATIONSHIP TO GOD

David’s relationship with God was affected by his use of deception and lack of trust in God’s power.

Just like David each of us has fallen short of the glory of God. We sometimes forget His promises to protect us and try to fix it ourselves. God has promised to never leave us or forsake us. He will be with us through the fiery trials.

Just like a diamond or a mighty redwood tree, it takes time to develop and grow into the king God wanted him to be.  David wrote our memory verse during this time of testing.

Psalm 56:3-4 When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?

Although David sinned, his heart was probably plagued with guilt and remorse. David was a man after God’s on heart his confessions are all through the Psalms.

Psalm 19:13-14 Keep your servant also from willful sins; may they not rule over me. Then will I be blameless, innocent of great transgression.

Psalm 86:5 “For thou, Lord, art good, and ready to forgive; and plenteous in mercy unto all that call upon thee”  

If we confess our sins God is faithful and just to forgive us. Our only secure everlasting relationship is with Our LORD and Savior Jesus Christ.

 Psalm 34:18, 19

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.   A righteous man may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all;

Ladies will you choose tonight to ask God to bring to your mind any unconfessed sin and have an intimate Relationship with Jesus Christ?