Sunday, April 22, 2012

2 Samuel 13-18; April 19, 2012

New study Mark 18 weeks and Ephesians 12 weeks (notice all the references in the lecture from Eph) Remember next two weeks, you may invite someone to visit in your core. May 10 will a dinner and Sharing day-no lecture-no cores- no visitors. Be thinking what you can share about CBS to Glory God not any person.

2 Samuel 13-18; David as a Father, April 19, 2012

Dr. John Gottman's work suggests two important connections for both dads and moms. First, a parent's attitude toward emotions can have a big impact on the way children learn to cope with feelings. Second, children whose parents respond to their emotions with patience and empathy do better in lots of ways, including academic achievement, better overall health, and stronger friendships, among other things. The following tips, developed by the Gottman group, will help fathers and mothers become better emotion coaches.
Helpful Dads
Harmful Dads

1. Notice lower intensity emotions in children.
1. Unaware of kids' emotions until they escalate.

2. See these emotions as an opportunity for intimacy or teaching.
2. See these negative emotions as toxic and a failure of parenting.

3. Validate and empathize with emotions, even if there is misbehavior.
3. Try to change the emotion to a positive one, or dismiss the emotion.

4. Help your child verbally label all the emotions he or she is feeling.
4. See introspection as a waste of time or dangerous.

5. Set limits on misbehavior or problem solve if there is no misbehavior.
5. Disapproval of your child having negative emotions.

Someone is watching you. Teach your children well,
David’s despicable behavior and deceit could have been left out of the Bible. His reputation of faithfulness and bravery would be intact. However his behavior in Ch.11-12 does prepare the way for the five chapters we studied this week. I will admit this was not a pleasant passage to prepare for-Lust, rape, murder, jealousy, hatred, vengeance, deceit, pride, rebellion. We still see these events committed every day, spread across the headlines of the newspaper, broadcast on the hourly news. 
But ladies, there is a message for parents in these chapter. David excelled at many things he was a shepherd, armor bearer, harpist, warrior, king, but he would not win any awards for father of the year. Earlier in first Samuel we studied the close bonded relationship between David and Jonathan. But since that time David’s priority seems to be winning battles and collecting wives.
Let’s go through a list of habits of bad parenting. Are we guilty of any of these?
SET A BAD EXAMPLE The first problem was the multiple wives and numerous children. An act forbidden by God.  Most men today do not have time for one wife and children, much less ruling a kingdom and keeping 8 wives happy. However the sins committed against Bathsheba and Uriah opened wide the door for his children follow in his sin. As Nathan had prophesied in ch.12 
 His sons were watching David.  Did he teach his children well?
LACK OF DISCIPLINE-David was furious with Amnon for his rape of Tamar, but we do not find anywhere in scripture where he received discipline from David. Being David’s oldest child, David may have felt his own sin with Bathsheba denied him the right to lecture Amnon. The only comfort we hear Tamar receives is from her own brother Absalom. David’s lack of discipline likely forced Absalom to take action two years later.
Ch.15 we will see the failure to discipline Absalom for the murder of Amnon led to rebellion and anarchy.
DENIED THEM NOTHING-As children of a king we can only guess at the material things available in the palace of the king. From Ch.13 each son appears to have their own compartment or house.
" In all Israel there was not a man so highly praised for his handsome appearance as Absalom. From the top of his head to the sole of his foot there was no blemish in him. 2 Samuel 14:25
Absalom's name signifies "the peace of his father.” He was prideful being the son of King David and his mother, Maacah, daughter to Talmai, king of Geshur:
Ch. 15 Absalom came parading into Jerusalem with chariots and horses, and fifty men to run before him. He probably acquired the horses from his grandfather King of Geshur.
While David and most of David’s men rode a mule or walked. Looking ahead to 1 Kings 1: 5 Although Adonijah, had a different mother, Haggith, he was haugthy and proud and said, “I will be king.” So he got chariots and horses[a] ready, with fifty men to run ahead of him. 6 (His father had never interfered with him by asking, (denied him anything)“Why do you behave as you do?” He was also very handsome and was born next after Absalom.)
SHOWED FAVORITISM   38 After Absalom fled and went to Geshur, he stayed there three years. 39 And the spirit of the king[d] longed to go to Absalom, for he was consoled concerning Amnon’s death. Similiarly when Bathsheba lost her first baby, once the son was dead he mourned it no longer.
Jacob had made the same mistake in loving Joseph more than his other sons. David’s elevated affection for Absalom hurt David’s family, his reputation, and adversely affected the nation. Are we listening?
TOO BUSY Parenting expert Mary Gordon "We are robbing our children and we are robbing ourselves of the richest relationships of our lifetime," she warns. "It means we're not really shoring them up for success”. Children of all ages need individual time with their parents and fathers and sons need together time ... without any agenda.
Statistics say most fathers spend less than 38 seconds a day giving full attention to their sons; 20 minutes of partially attentive to their children. In comparison children spend 54 hours a week in front of the television. These statistics are not recent, but I would think video games, iPhones, mp 3,4,5 players consume more time than TV.  Of course, they might have the TV on at the same time. 
 Someone is watching you. Teach your children well.

Sins of the Sons

Amnon: Lust for sexual passion - This would be a case of the father not aware of his son’s emotional state. Amnon had made himself sick from his lustful desire for his sister. Cousin Jonadab devises the plan for Amnon have his sister. The king came to visit Amnon. 7 David sent word to Tamar at the palace: “Go to the house of your brother Amnon and prepare some food for him.” Kind of like sending an innocent into a lion den. Tamar was a virgin until this time, now she is disgraced and unmarriageable. This love turned hate was indicative of a sinful heart.
21 When King David heard all this, he was furious.  But Tamar’s intense pain of rape and then rejection was not addressed by David.
As parents we would do well to teach our sons while they are young the saving principles found in God's WORD.
Psalm 119:9-10 How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word. With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments!
Romans 12:1 I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.
Absalom: Lust for Revenge- Be quiet now, my sister; he is your brother. Don’t take this thing to heart.” And Tamar lived in her brother Absalom’s house, a desolate woman.
. 22 Absalom never said a word to Amnon, either good or bad; he hated Amnon because he had disgraced his sister Tamar.
For two years Absalom’s anger was seething in silence, ready to explode like a bomb from WWII found recently discovered.
January 20, 2012 A medals ceremony for the Winter Youth Olympics in Austria has been rescheduled when a bomb was found nearby, it was defused without causing any damage or injuries. Bombs left over from World War II have gone unnoticed for almost 70 years and are regularly discovered during construction work in Austria, Germany, and other countries. There have been numerous deaths where the bombs accidently exploded before they could be disarmed.
Anger is not a sin in itself. However, unresolved anger can be hazardous to your health.  The danger lies when we repress and silence the anger and then suddenly blow up  The explosion may cause harm to you and those around you.
Ephesians 4:26Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:
Effects of anger on your system; studies show that people who had a lot of hidden rage experience frequent headaches, high blood pressure, difficulty sleeping, and poor digestion. In fact, research published in the Journal of the American College of Cardiology showed that there’s a strong link between hostility and heart disease.
The only known cure is forgiveness.
Ephesians 4: 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Forgiveness is a choice not a feeling. If you have trouble forgiving make a list of all the sins Jesus has forgiven you for. Remember we are commanded to forgive.
Someone is watching you.  Are you teaching your children to Forgive.
Absalom’s Lust for power
After killing Amnon, Absalom seeks refuge in Geshur where his Grandfather was king. Four years there and two more years in Jerusalem without seeing his father’s face, he burns Joab’s field to get his attention. But no sooner did the king kiss his son’s face than Absalom begins his conspiracy.
15 4 And Absalom would add, “If only I were appointed judge in the land! Then everyone who has a complaint or case could come to me and I would see that he gets justice.”
 5 Also, whenever anyone approached him to bow down before him, Absalom would reach out his hand, take hold of him and kiss him. 6 Absalom behaved in this way toward all the Israelites who came to the king asking for justice, and so he stole the hearts of the men of Israel.
Next Absalom lies to his father, concocts a scheme to take 200 innocents with him, secretly spreading the word to the tribes to shout at the sound of the trumpet- “Absalom is King in Hebron.” 
 Absalom was watching David. He told the people what they wanted to hear.

David hears the news and to avoid countless deaths and the utter destruction of Jerusalem, he flees with all but 10 concubines.  The prophecy of Nathan’s will come to pass on the same roof that David spied Bathsheba. I wish we had time to comment on the betrayal of friends and the ark being sent back and faithful friends who stood by David.
15:30 But David continued up the Mount of Olives, weeping as he went; his head was covered and he was barefoot. All the people with him covered their heads too and were weeping as they went up.
Imagine the mighty David running from his son and Shimei, the Benjamite cursing and throwing stones at David and showering him with dirt.
“Leave him alone; let him curse, for the LORD has told him to.” 2 Samuel 16:
Shimei was watching David. We reap what we sow.
Chapter 16- David and all his people cross the Jordan were cared for in Mahanaim. You may remember this is where Isbosheth ran when was King.
Ch.17- Hushai, David’s friend gives advice to Absalom that saves the King. For the LORD had determined to frustrate the good advice of Ahithophel in order to bring disaster on Absalom.
Ch.18- David sent troops out to meet Absalom
5 The king commanded Joab, Abishai and Ittai, “Be gentle with the young man Absalom for my sake.” And all the troops heard the king giving orders concerning Absalom to each of the commanders.
Joab disregards the commands and kills Absalom himself. Hmm let’s keep an eye on Joab.
Chapter 18 ends with an obvious declaration of David’s love for Absalom. 33 The king was shaken. He went up to the room over the gateway and wept. As he went, he said: “O my son Absalom! My son, my son Absalom! If only I had died instead of you—O Absalom, my son, my son!”
Such sorrow for a Father. Someone is watching you. Teach your children well,
Our FATHER-He is our Shepherd, our Comforter, our Provider and Friend
1 Corinthians 8:6 yet for us there is but one God, the Father, from whom all things came and for whom we live; and there is but one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom all things came and through whom we live.
2 Thessalonians 2:15-1715 So then, brothers, stand firm and hold to the teachings[a] we passed on to you, whether by word of mouth or by letter. 16 May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, 17 encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word.
Will you choose to honor the teachings of you Father? 
 Someone is watching you. Teach your children well.

2 Samuel 11-12, April 12, 2012

FOR ALL HAVE SINNED,  2 Samuel 11-12; April 12, 2012
Carol Kuykendall writes “As I sifted through my mail I noticed Photo Radar Program boldly stamped in black. Before I opened it, I knew I was busted. Sure enough the letter inside had not one but three pictures that identified me as guilty of “excessive speed of 33 miles-per-hour” in a “20 miles per hour school zone.”  Then I remembered the moment several weeks ago when the flash of the camera caught me by surprise. I didn't even realize there was a school a couple of blocks away; no children were around and no other cars. Besides I was running late for the doctor’s appointment

But here was the incriminating evidence. The first picture showed my car approaching the camera. The second was a close-up of my face. The last clearly reveal my license plate on the back of the car.
The letter contained lots of small print about my options. Immediate payment of the fine would “close the matter” or I could report somewhere to settle the matter in a trial at a later date. Or I could wait until was issued the second summons, which would nearly double the fine.

I left the envelope on my desk for several days because I didn't want to deal with it but every time I saw it, my guilty feelings grew. Yesterday I finally picked it up, reread the fine print, wrote out a check and stuffed it in the envelope. Later as I dropped it in the mailbox I dropped my sense of guilt as well, after all the letter promised that “the payment closes the matter.”
1 John 1:9 if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins.
PRAY Lord, you are the one who promised “that payment closes the matter.”  Thank you that burdens are lifted at Calvary. Jesus death paid a debt I could never pay. Help me to live in the light of that Truth.
David Displeases the Lord-Sins, Repentance, Forgiveness
2 Samuel 11 1 In the spring, at the time when kings go off to war, David sent Joab out with the king’s men and the whole Israelite army. They destroyed the Ammonites and besieged Rabbah. But David remained in Jerusalem.

2 One evening David got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of the palace. From the roof he saw a woman bathing.

The Jewish people were constantly taking baths or performing the mikvah ritual. A mikvah is defined in Webster's as, "A bath in which Orthodox Jews immerse themselves for ritual purification, as before the Sabbath or following menstruation." We know Bathsheba was not sunbathing for we are told it was evening. V 4. (She had purified herself from her uncleanness.)
Oh, be careful little eyes, what you see, (repeat)
For the Father up above,
is looking down in love,
So be careful little eyes
What you see.

Lust of the Eyes -1 John 2:16  For everything in the world—the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world.

Matthew 5:27-28, "You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

2- The woman was very beautiful, 3 and David sent someone to find out about her. The man said, “Isn’t this Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah the Hittite?”
Oh, be careful little mind what you think (repeat)
For the Father up above,
Is looking down in love,
So be careful little mind,
What you think.

David’s Sins
·        Lust of the eyes
·        Adultery
·        Dishonesty
·        Murder
·        Cover-up
4 Then David sent messengers to get her. She came to him, and he slept with her. (She had purified herself from her uncleanness.) Then[a] she went back home.
Oh, be careful little hands, what you do (repeat),
For the Father up above,
Is looking down in love,
So be careful little hands
What you do
1 Corinthians 6:18-19 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. 19 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;

  Bathsheba mourns

1 Corinthians 10:13 13 No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.
Two innocents and a King- Bathsheba was the bride of Uriah, one of David’s faithful generals. She probably came from a God –fearing family, her father’s name was Eliam, which in Hebrew means “God is gracious.” From our account in the bible we can find no fault with Bathsheba, much as Esther had done, she was summoned before the King and had no recourse to object.
 Remember Sarai, wife of Abram twice she was chosen because of her beauty and added to a harem; first by King Abimelech and later by the Pharaoh.
Deceit-Uriah, brave warrior is away fighting the war. When Bathsheba sends word that she was pregnant. David calls him home and tries to arrange for Uriah to sleep with his wife to cover David’s indiscretion. Warriors in battle must be consecrated and forbidden to be with women. Uriah was so conscientious, faithful that he was slept outside the palace. Even the night David tried to get him drunk Uriah refused to break the oath. David trusted Uriah’s honor enough to let him carry his own death order to Joab.
Many women in this room have been lied to and deceived by someone they love.  It hurts deeply; our hearts are broken and our souls wounded.
But in Deuteronomy 31:6 we are reminded: Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”
We can depend on Jesus to be faithful and true.
1 John 1:9 if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins.
Have you even had to confront someone who has shown poor judgment, or deliver bad news to a friend? Remember Jonah ran away from God’s appointment for him.
What a brave and obedient servant Nathan was to approach King David and expose his sin.
David as judge was enraged at the injustice of the story about the little ewe lamb stolen from the poor man.
5“As surely as the LORD lives, the man who did this deserves to die! 6 He must pay for that lamb four times over, because he did such a thing and had no pity.”
7 Then Nathan said to David, “You are the man!
David shows true remorse and confesses to Nathan and God. 13 Then David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the LORD.”
PSALM 51 was written out of his repentance.
1 Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin!
3 For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me.
4 Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you may be justified in your words and blameless in your judgment.
12:15 Nathan replied, “The LORD has taken away your sin. You are not going to die. 14 But because by doing this you have made the enemies of the LORD show utter contempt, the son born to you will die.” 
The LORD forgave David. However David had to suffer the consequences of his actions. Unfortunately, others had to suffer as well. In future chapters we will see how his sins are visited on his family. He will pay at least four times over.
 Our Sins Affect Others
·         Some of the king’s men died;  Uriah murdered 11:17
·        Bathsheba mourns her husband 11:26
·        Sword will never depart his house 12:10
·        Calamity on your family 12:11
·        His wives taken in broad daylight 12:12
·        Enemies show contempt for the LORD 12:13
·        Bathsheba's baby dies 12:19
Repentance is incomplete unless it leads to confession and restitution in cases of injury; unless it causes us to forsake not merely outward sins, which others notice, but those which lie concealed in the heart; unless it makes us choose the service of God and live not for ourselves but for Him. There is no duty which is either more obvious in itself, or more frequently asserted in the Word of God, than that of repentance. 
M. Cocoris, Evangelism, A Biblical Approach, Moody, 1984, p. 65.
1 John 1:9 if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins
Colossians 3:13 ESV bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.
David psalms show us his heart for God. His remorse was genuine and the LORD forgave his sin. However an innocent baby had to die as consequences of David’s sin.
24-Then David comforted his wife Bathsheba, and he went to her and lay with her. She gave birth to a son, and they named him Solomon. The LORD loved him; 25 and because the LORD loved him, he sent word through Nathan the prophet to name him Jedidiah.
When Bathsheba is pregnant with child, she is called the wife of Uriah. However after she loses the baby she is referred to as Bathsheba. One commentary says she was the eighth wife of David. The number eight signifies new beginning. With the birth of Solomon it was also a new beginning for David as well. Solomon will build the temple for the LORD.
Bathsheba is honored when she is listed in the genealogy of Jesus in Matthew 1:6 “David was the father of Solomon by the wife of Uriah.”
Isn’t it strange how God can take a bad situation and use it for His good?
I used to think I was a pretty good judge of people. Lately I have been having my doubts. This lesson was difficult for me, betrayal and lies are the hardest to forgive. 
My Grandpa Reese used to say, “You can lock up from a thief, but you can’t for a liar.”
A lie has no legs. It requires other lies to support it. Tell one lie and you are forced to tell other lies to back it up. Stretching the truth won't make it last any longer. Those that think it permissible to tell white lies soon grow colorblind.  Austin O'Malley.
Do you have unforgiveness in your heart? It can be difficult to forgive when we have been hurt. However, we are commanded to forgive as our heavenly father forgives us. Our worth is found in Christ alone, not in the way we are treated by others. Forgiveness is impossible without God’s love to uphold us.
We trample the blood of the Son of God if we think we are forgiven because we are sorry for our sins. It does not matter who or what we are; there is absolute reinstatement into God by the death of Jesus Christ and by no other way, not because Jesus Christ pleads, but because He died. Our Lord does not pretend we are all right when we are all wrong. The atonement is a propitiation whereby God, through the death of Jesus, makes an unholy man holy. Oswald Chambers.
 1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins.
If our greatest need had been information, God would have sent us an educator;
 If our greatest need had been technology, God would have sent us a scientist;
If our greatest need had been money, God would have sent us an economist;
 If our greatest need had been pleasure, God would have sent us an entertainer;
But our greatest need was forgiveness, so God sent us a Savior.
Unfinished Business, Charles Sell, Multnomah, 1989, pp. 121ff
Will you choose to remember that no one escapes the consequences of his sins?
For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God. Romans 3:23