BGEA
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Sunday, April 22, 2012
2 Samuel 13-18; April 19, 2012
WELCOME
New study Mark 18 weeks and Ephesians 12 weeks (notice all the
references in the lecture from Eph) Remember next two weeks, you may invite
someone to visit in your core. May 10 will a dinner and Sharing day-no
lecture-no cores- no visitors. Be thinking what you can share about CBS to
Glory God not any person.
2 Samuel 13-18; David as a Father, April 19, 2012
Dr.
John Gottman's work suggests two important connections for both dads and moms. First, a parent's attitude toward
emotions can have a big impact on the way children learn to cope with
feelings. Second, children whose parents respond to their emotions with
patience and empathy do better in lots of ways, including academic achievement,
better overall health, and stronger friendships, among other things. The
following tips, developed by the Gottman group, will help fathers and mothers
become better emotion coaches.
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Helpful Dads
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Harmful Dads
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1. Notice lower intensity emotions in children.
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1. Unaware of kids' emotions until they escalate.
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2. See these emotions as an opportunity for intimacy or
teaching.
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2. See these negative emotions as toxic and a failure of
parenting.
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3. Validate and empathize with emotions, even if there is
misbehavior.
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3. Try to change the emotion to a positive one, or dismiss the
emotion.
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4. Help your child verbally label all the emotions he or she is
feeling.
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4. See introspection as a waste of time or dangerous.
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5. Set limits on misbehavior or problem solve if there is no
misbehavior.
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5. Disapproval of your child having negative emotions.
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Someone is watching you. Teach your children
well,
David’s despicable behavior and deceit could have been left out of
the Bible. His reputation of faithfulness and bravery would be intact. However
his behavior in Ch.11-12 does prepare the way for the five chapters we studied
this week. I will admit this was not a pleasant passage to prepare for-Lust,
rape, murder, jealousy, hatred, vengeance, deceit, pride, rebellion. We still
see these events committed every day, spread across the headlines of the newspaper,
broadcast on the hourly news.
But ladies, there is a message
for parents in these chapter. David excelled at many things he was a
shepherd, armor bearer, harpist, warrior, king, but he would not win any awards
for father of the year. Earlier in first Samuel we studied the close bonded
relationship between David and Jonathan. But since that time David’s priority
seems to be winning battles and collecting wives.
FATHERS
and SONS
DAVID AS A FATHER
Let’s go through a list of habits of bad parenting. Are we guilty
of any of these?
SET A BAD
EXAMPLE The first problem was the multiple wives and numerous children.
An act forbidden by God. Most men today do not have time for one wife and
children, much less ruling a kingdom and keeping 8 wives happy. However the
sins committed against Bathsheba and Uriah opened wide the door for his
children follow in his sin. As Nathan had prophesied in ch.12
His sons were watching
David. Did he teach his children well?
LACK OF
DISCIPLINE-David was furious with Amnon for his rape of Tamar, but we do not
find anywhere in scripture where he received discipline from David. Being
David’s oldest child, David may have felt his own sin with Bathsheba denied him
the right to lecture Amnon. The only comfort we hear Tamar receives is from her
own brother Absalom. David’s lack of discipline likely forced Absalom to take
action two years later.
Ch.15 we will see the failure to discipline Absalom for the murder
of Amnon led to rebellion and anarchy.
DENIED
THEM NOTHING-As children of a king we can only guess at the material things
available in the palace of the king. From Ch.13 each son appears to have their
own compartment or house.
" In
all Israel there was not a man so highly praised for his handsome appearance as
Absalom. From the top of his head to the sole of his foot there was no blemish
in him. 2 Samuel 14:25
Absalom's name signifies "the peace of his father.” He was
prideful being the son of King David and his mother, Maacah, daughter to
Talmai, king of Geshur:
Ch. 15 Absalom came parading into Jerusalem with chariots and
horses, and fifty men to run before him. He probably acquired the horses from
his grandfather King of Geshur.
While David and most of David’s men rode a mule or walked. Looking
ahead to 1 Kings 1: 5 Although Adonijah, had a different
mother, Haggith, he was haugthy and proud and said, “I will be king.” So he got
chariots and horses[a] ready,
with fifty men to run ahead of him. 6 (His father had never
interfered with him by asking, (denied him anything)“Why do you behave as you
do?” He was also very handsome and was born next after Absalom.)
SHOWED FAVORITISM 38
After Absalom fled and went to Geshur, he stayed there three years. 39
And the spirit of the king[d] longed to go to Absalom, for he was consoled concerning Amnon’s
death.
Similiarly when Bathsheba lost her first baby, once the son was dead he mourned
it no longer.
Jacob had made the same mistake in loving Joseph more than his
other sons. David’s elevated affection for Absalom hurt David’s family, his
reputation, and adversely affected the nation. Are we listening?
TOO BUSY Parenting expert Mary Gordon "We are robbing our children
and we are robbing ourselves of the richest relationships of our
lifetime," she warns. "It means we're not really shoring
them up for success”. Children of all ages need individual time with their
parents and fathers and sons need together time ... without any agenda.
Statistics say most
fathers spend less than 38 seconds a
day giving full attention to their sons; 20
minutes of partially attentive to their children. In comparison children
spend 54 hours a week in front of the television. These statistics are not
recent, but I would think video games, iPhones, mp 3,4,5 players consume more
time than TV. Of course, they might have the TV on at the same
time.
Someone is watching you. Teach your children well.
Sins of the Sons
Amnon:
Lust for sexual passion - This would be a case of the father not aware
of his son’s emotional state. Amnon had made himself sick from his lustful
desire for his sister. Cousin Jonadab devises the plan for Amnon have his
sister. The king came to visit Amnon. 7 David sent word to Tamar at
the palace: “Go to the house of your brother Amnon and prepare some food for
him.” Kind of like sending an innocent into a lion den. Tamar was a virgin until this time, now she is disgraced and
unmarriageable. This love turned hate was indicative of a sinful heart.
21 When King David heard all this, he was furious.
But Tamar’s intense pain of rape and then rejection was not addressed by David.
As parents we would do well to teach our sons
while they are young the saving principles found in God's WORD.
Psalm
119:9-10 How can a young man keep his way pure? By
guarding it according to your word. With my whole heart I seek you; let me not
wander from your commandments!
Romans 12:1 I
appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your
bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your
spiritual worship.
Absalom: Lust for Revenge- Be quiet now, my sister;
he is your brother. Don’t take this thing to heart.” And Tamar lived in her
brother Absalom’s house, a desolate woman.
. 22 Absalom never said a word to Amnon, either good or
bad; he hated Amnon because he had disgraced his sister Tamar.
For two years Absalom’s
anger was seething in silence, ready to explode like a bomb from WWII found
recently discovered.
January 20, 2012 A medals ceremony for the Winter Youth Olympics
in Austria has been rescheduled when a bomb was found nearby, it was defused
without causing any damage or injuries. Bombs left over from World War II have
gone unnoticed for almost 70 years and are regularly discovered during
construction work in Austria, Germany, and other countries. There have been
numerous deaths where the bombs accidently exploded before they could be
disarmed.
Anger is not a sin in itself. However, unresolved anger can be
hazardous to your health. The danger
lies when we repress and silence
the anger and then suddenly blow up The explosion may cause harm to you
and those around you.
Ephesians 4:26Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun
go down upon your wrath:
Effects of anger on your system; studies show that people who had
a lot of hidden rage experience frequent headaches,
high blood pressure, difficulty sleeping, and poor digestion. In fact,
research published in the Journal of the American College of Cardiology showed
that there’s a strong link between
hostility and heart disease.
The only known cure is forgiveness.
Ephesians
4: 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and
slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and
compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God
forgave you.
Forgiveness is a choice not a feeling. If you have trouble
forgiving make a list of all the sins Jesus has forgiven you for. Remember we
are commanded to forgive.
Someone is watching you. Are you teaching
your children to Forgive.
Absalom’s
Lust for power
After killing Amnon, Absalom seeks refuge in Geshur where his
Grandfather was king. Four years there and two more years in Jerusalem without
seeing his father’s face, he burns Joab’s field to get his attention. But no
sooner did the king kiss his son’s face than Absalom begins his conspiracy.
15 4 And Absalom
would add, “If only I were appointed judge in the land! Then everyone who has a
complaint or case could come to me and I would see that he gets justice.”
5
Also, whenever anyone approached him to bow down before him, Absalom would
reach out his hand, take hold of him and kiss him. 6 Absalom behaved
in this way toward all the Israelites who came to the king asking for justice,
and so he stole the hearts of the men of Israel.
Next Absalom lies to his father, concocts a scheme to take 200
innocents with him, secretly spreading the word to the tribes to shout at the
sound of the trumpet- “Absalom is King in Hebron.”
Absalom was watching David.
He told the people what they wanted to hear.
David hears the news and to avoid countless deaths and the utter
destruction of Jerusalem, he flees with all but 10 concubines. The
prophecy of Nathan’s will come to pass on the same roof that David spied
Bathsheba. I wish we had time to comment on the betrayal of friends and the ark
being sent back and faithful friends who stood by David.
15:30 But David continued up the Mount of Olives,
weeping as he went; his head was covered and he was barefoot. All the people
with him covered their heads too and were weeping as they went up.
Imagine the mighty David running from his son and Shimei, the
Benjamite cursing and throwing stones at David and showering him with dirt.
“Leave
him alone; let him curse, for the LORD has told him to.” 2 Samuel 16:
Shimei was watching David. We reap what we sow.
Map
Map
Chapter
16- David and all his people cross the Jordan were cared for in Mahanaim. You
may remember this is where Isbosheth ran when was King.
Ch.17-
Hushai, David’s friend gives advice to Absalom that saves the King. For
the LORD had determined to frustrate the good advice of Ahithophel in order to
bring disaster on Absalom.
Ch.18-
David sent troops out to meet Absalom
5 The king commanded Joab, Abishai and Ittai, “Be gentle with the
young man Absalom for my sake.” And all the troops heard the king giving orders
concerning Absalom to each of the commanders.
Joab
disregards the commands and kills Absalom himself. Hmm let’s keep an eye on Joab.
Chapter 18 ends with an
obvious declaration of David’s love for Absalom. 33 The king was shaken. He went up to the room over the
gateway and wept. As he went, he said: “O my son Absalom! My son, my son
Absalom! If only I had died instead of you—O Absalom, my son, my son!”
Such sorrow for a Father. Someone
is watching you. Teach your children well,
Our FATHER-He is our Shepherd, our Comforter, our Provider and
Friend
1 Corinthians 8:6 yet for us there is but one
God, the Father, from whom all things came and for whom we live; and there is
but one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom all things came and through whom we
live.
2 Thessalonians 2:15-1715 So then,
brothers, stand firm and hold to the teachings[a] we passed on to you, whether by word of mouth
or by letter. 16 May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our
Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good
hope, 17 encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed
and word.
Will you choose to honor
the teachings of you Father?
Someone is watching
you. Teach your children well.
PRAYER
2 Samuel 11-12, April 12, 2012
WELCOME ; 2012-13 STUDY
FOR ALL HAVE SINNED, 2 Samuel 11-12; April 12, 2012
Carol
Kuykendall
writes “As I sifted through my mail I noticed Photo Radar Program boldly stamped
in black. Before I opened it, I knew I was busted. Sure enough the letter
inside had not one but three pictures that identified me as guilty of “excessive
speed of 33 miles-per-hour” in a “20 miles per hour school zone.” Then I remembered the moment several weeks ago
when the flash of the camera caught me by surprise. I didn't even realize there
was a school a couple of blocks away; no children were around and no other cars.
Besides I was running late for the doctor’s appointment
But here was the incriminating evidence. The first picture showed my car approaching the camera. The second was a close-up of my face. The last clearly reveal my license plate on the back of the car.
But here was the incriminating evidence. The first picture showed my car approaching the camera. The second was a close-up of my face. The last clearly reveal my license plate on the back of the car.
The letter contained lots of small
print about my options. Immediate payment of the fine would “close the matter”
or I could report somewhere to settle the matter in a trial at a later date. Or
I could wait until was issued the second summons, which would nearly double the
fine.
I left the envelope on my desk for several days because I didn't want to deal with it but every time I saw it, my guilty feelings grew. Yesterday I finally picked it up, reread the fine print, wrote out a check and stuffed it in the envelope. Later as I dropped it in the mailbox I dropped my sense of guilt as well, after all the letter promised that “the payment closes the matter.”
I left the envelope on my desk for several days because I didn't want to deal with it but every time I saw it, my guilty feelings grew. Yesterday I finally picked it up, reread the fine print, wrote out a check and stuffed it in the envelope. Later as I dropped it in the mailbox I dropped my sense of guilt as well, after all the letter promised that “the payment closes the matter.”
1 John 1:9 if we confess our sins, He
is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins.
PRAY Lord, you are the one who promised “that payment closes the
matter.” Thank you that burdens are
lifted at Calvary. Jesus death paid a debt I could never pay. Help me to live
in the light of that Truth.
David
Displeases the Lord-Sins,
Repentance, Forgiveness
2 Samuel 11 1
In the spring, at the time when kings go
off to war, David sent Joab out with the king’s men and the whole Israelite
army. They destroyed the Ammonites and besieged Rabbah. But David remained in Jerusalem.
2 One evening David got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of the palace. From the roof he saw a woman bathing.
The Jewish people were constantly taking baths or
performing the mikvah ritual. A mikvah is defined in Webster's
as, "A bath in which Orthodox Jews immerse themselves for ritual
purification, as before the Sabbath or following menstruation." We
know Bathsheba was not sunbathing for we are told it was evening. V 4.
(She had purified herself from her
uncleanness.)
Oh,
be careful little eyes, what you see, (repeat)
For the Father up above,
is looking down in love,
So be careful little eyes
What you see.
For the Father up above,
is looking down in love,
So be careful little eyes
What you see.
Lust of the Eyes -1 John 2:16 For everything in the world—the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world.
Matthew 5:27-28, "You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."
2-
The woman was very beautiful, 3 and David sent someone to find out about her. The man said, “Isn’t this
Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah the Hittite?”
Oh,
be careful little mind what you think (repeat)
For the Father up above,
Is looking down in love,
So be careful little mind,
What you think.
For the Father up above,
Is looking down in love,
So be careful little mind,
What you think.
David’s Sins
·
Lust of the eyes
·
Adultery
·
Dishonesty
·
Murder
·
Cover-up
4 Then David sent messengers to get
her. She came to him, and he slept with her. (She had purified herself from her uncleanness.) Then[a] she went back home.
Oh,
be careful little hands, what you do (repeat),
For the Father up above,
Is looking down in love,
So be careful little hands
What you do
For the Father up above,
Is looking down in love,
So be careful little hands
What you do
1
Corinthians 6:18-19
Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body,
but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. 19 Do you not
know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you
have received from God? You are not your own;
Bathsheba mourns
1
Corinthians 10:13 13
No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful;
he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are
tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.
Two
innocents and a King- Bathsheba was the bride of Uriah, one
of David’s faithful generals. She probably came from a God –fearing family, her
father’s name was Eliam, which in Hebrew means “God is gracious.” From our
account in the bible we can find no fault with Bathsheba, much as Esther had
done, she was summoned before the King and had no recourse to object.
Remember
Sarai, wife of Abram twice she was chosen because of her beauty and added to a
harem; first by King Abimelech and later by the Pharaoh.
Deceit-Uriah,
brave warrior is away fighting the war. When Bathsheba sends word that she was
pregnant. David calls him home and tries to arrange for Uriah to sleep with his
wife to cover David’s indiscretion. Warriors in battle must be consecrated and
forbidden to be with women. Uriah was so conscientious, faithful that he was
slept outside the palace. Even the night David tried to get him drunk Uriah
refused to break the oath. David trusted Uriah’s honor enough to let him carry his
own death order to Joab.
Many
women in this room have been lied to and deceived by someone they love. It hurts
deeply; our hearts are broken and our souls wounded.
But
in Deuteronomy 31:6 we are reminded: Be
strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the
LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”
We
can depend on Jesus to be faithful and true.
1 John 1:9 if we confess our sins, He
is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins.
REPENTANCE
Have you even had to confront someone who has shown
poor judgment, or deliver bad news to a friend? Remember Jonah ran away from
God’s appointment for him.
What a brave and obedient servant Nathan was to
approach King David and expose his sin.
David as judge was enraged at the injustice of the
story about the little ewe lamb stolen from the poor man.
5“As
surely as the LORD lives, the man who did this deserves to die! 6 He
must pay for that lamb four times over, because he did such a thing and had no
pity.”
7 Then Nathan said to David, “You
are the man!
David
shows true remorse and confesses to Nathan and God. 13 Then David
said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the LORD.”
PSALM 51 was written out of his repentance.
1
Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your
abundant mercy blot out my transgressions.
2
Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin!
3
For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me.
4
Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so
that you may be justified in your words and blameless in your judgment.
12:15 Nathan replied, “The LORD
has taken away your sin. You are not going to die. 14 But because by
doing this you have made the enemies of the LORD show utter contempt, the son
born to you will die.”
The LORD forgave David. However David had to suffer the consequences of his actions. Unfortunately, others had to suffer as well. In future chapters we will see how his sins are visited on his family. He will pay at least four times over.
The LORD forgave David. However David had to suffer the consequences of his actions. Unfortunately, others had to suffer as well. In future chapters we will see how his sins are visited on his family. He will pay at least four times over.
Our Sins Affect Others
·
Some
of the king’s men died; Uriah murdered
11:17
·
Bathsheba mourns her husband 11:26
·
Sword will never depart his house
12:10
·
Calamity on your family 12:11
·
His wives taken in broad daylight
12:12
·
Enemies show contempt for the LORD
12:13
·
Bathsheba's baby dies 12:19
Repentance is incomplete unless it leads to confession
and restitution in cases of injury; unless it causes us to forsake not merely
outward sins, which others notice, but those which lie concealed in the heart;
unless it makes us choose the service of God and live not for ourselves but for
Him. There is no duty which is either more obvious in itself, or more
frequently asserted in the Word of God, than that of repentance.
M. Cocoris, Evangelism, A Biblical Approach, Moody, 1984, p. 65.
1 John 1:9 if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins
M. Cocoris, Evangelism, A Biblical Approach, Moody, 1984, p. 65.
1 John 1:9 if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins
FORGIVENESS
Colossians 3:13 ESV bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another,
forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.
David psalms show us his heart for God. His remorse
was genuine and the LORD forgave his sin. However an innocent baby had to die
as consequences of David’s sin.
24-Then David
comforted his wife Bathsheba, and he went to her and lay with her. She gave
birth to a son, and they named him Solomon. The LORD loved him; 25
and because the LORD loved him, he sent word through Nathan the prophet to name
him Jedidiah.
When Bathsheba is pregnant with child, she is called
the wife of Uriah. However after she loses the baby she is referred to as
Bathsheba. One commentary says she was the eighth wife of David. The number
eight signifies new beginning. With the birth of Solomon it was also a new
beginning for David as well. Solomon will build the temple for the LORD.
Bathsheba is honored when she is listed in the genealogy
of Jesus in Matthew 1:6 “David was the
father of Solomon by the wife of Uriah.”
Isn’t it strange how God can take a bad situation
and use it for His good?
I
used to think I was a pretty good judge of people. Lately I have been having my
doubts. This lesson was difficult
for me, betrayal and lies are the hardest to forgive.
My Grandpa
Reese used to say, “You can lock up from a thief, but you can’t for a liar.”
A lie has no legs. It requires other
lies to support it. Tell one lie and you are forced to tell other lies to back
it up. Stretching the truth won't make it last any longer. Those that think it
permissible to tell white lies soon grow colorblind. Austin O'Malley.
Do
you have unforgiveness in your heart? It can be difficult to forgive when we
have been hurt. However, we are commanded to forgive as our heavenly
father forgives us. Our worth is found in Christ alone, not in the way we are
treated by others. Forgiveness is impossible without God’s love to uphold us.
We trample
the blood of the Son of God if we think we are forgiven because we are sorry for our sins. It does not matter who
or what we are; there is absolute
reinstatement into God by the death of Jesus Christ and by no other way,
not because Jesus Christ pleads, but because He died. Our Lord does not pretend we are all right when we are all
wrong. The atonement is a propitiation whereby God, through the death of Jesus,
makes an unholy man holy. Oswald Chambers.
1 John
1:9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our
sins.
If our greatest need had been information, God would have
sent us an educator;
If our greatest need
had been technology, God would have sent us a scientist;
If our greatest need had been money, God would have sent us
an economist;
If our greatest need
had been pleasure, God would have sent us an entertainer;
But our
greatest need was forgiveness, so God sent us a Savior.
Unfinished Business, Charles Sell, Multnomah, 1989, pp.
121ff
Will
you choose to remember that no one escapes the consequences of his sins?
For all have
sinned and come short of the glory of God. Romans 3:23
PRAYER
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